When your body wants to run but your heart knows you're better than that

You tell yourself you're ready...

That you're sincere with your surrender...

"I just want an answer Lord...even if it is a no."

And then the "no" comes and you're like...

dangit.






But He is good and I will trust He knows best. <3

The words of a father.

I think I'm more like my dad than anyone else.

We have the same mouth and eyes.
We're insanely quiet. Even with each other.
We're both incredibly stubborn. It's in the Ramirez blood.
We love to laugh at people, especially at their expense.
We're both completely uncoordinated. (Hence the reason I was kicked off the basketball team)
We laugh at all our own jokes and probably think we're funnier than we actually are.
We're terrible drivers. (except for very different reasons)
My mom is the center of our earthly lives.
And we love Jesus.

And even though you probably hardly know him...

I can tell you that he's amazing,
That i miss him,
That hopefully one day i'll be lucky enough to inherit his wisdom,
and that hearing his voice makes my heart so much fuller.

P.S Happy Birthday Grandpa.

Home from Napoli :)

I'm home.

bye.

Cats and magic.

I haven't been a very good updater.

So here's my attempt to catch up...

A couple weekends ago, I went to Germany. Jordyn, Mary, and I spent our time at the Bible College there. To be honest, it was the most stressful time of all time. We flew into the wrong airport. We went to the wrong train station. We were stranded. We were cold. We were lost.

Ha, we were a pretty pathetic sight, but then we were found by some random bible college students none of us knew. We spent the next day in a city I can't remember the name of. But it was beautiful. The architecture was absolutely stunning. They had bands at every corner. The fellowship was fun. I had German ice cream that was more than delicious. And before I even knew it, the weekend was over. And I was flying home.

Also, two mondays ago, the director of our school packed all of us up and together we spent a night in the mountains. Honestly, Italian mountains are...sdjfisojfds...words just don't do them justice. It took about a thirty minute hike to get to our perfectly secluded cabin. The trees were endless, the sun was bright, and the air was refreshingly cold.

...But, I really don't know how to share my experience. I speak with hesitation.

I guess the only thing that I can say is that Jesus' love overwhelms me. It makes me whole and it makes me realize that He's all I'll ever need.

Later that night, as we enjoyed community worship together, Brian (the director) shared these verses with us...

Then a certain scribe came and said to Him, "Teacher, I will follow You wherever You go." And Jesus said to him, "Foxes have holes and birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has no where to lay His head." Matthew 8:19,20

But, tomorrow morning I live for Naples. I'll be spending a week there to help out at a camp. Pray for me and the team I'm going with.

I love you all.

p.s Pray for my family back home...they're all sick and it's no fun. :(

Mr. George Feeny

Experience is life's best teacher, but it doesn't have to be.

I'm having a blehhh moment, learning the hard way.

Carrot sticks.

I completely forgot to tell you about the hot chocolate here!

But first, I will have you know, I adore hot chocolate.
Before I left for Italy, when the weather in Riverside was well above 100 degrees, I was still drinking my cup of love every single day. The cravings never end, rain or shine. Well, where I live, it's more shine or shine. But that's not the point.

In any case, the hot chocolate here isn't in liquid form...it's in pudding form. :)

Ahhh, a little bit of sweet heaven.

Still beating.

Let love be without hypocrisy... – Romans 12:9

My heart. It is my deepest desire to love the Lord without hypocrisy. But I find, as I stand in His marvelous light, how far I am from reaching that longing. Tonight, as we worshipped the Lord, my heart struggled. In a way, I can’t completely describe.

However, I have a High Priest who has not only passed through the heavens, but He has been in all points tempted, yet without sin. Jesus Christ knows me perfectly. He knows my every weakness and is patient and ready to give me exactly what I need.

And I need Him.

Therefore, I shall draw near with boldness unto the throne of grace, that I may receive mercy, and may find grace to help me in my time of need. Do you know how epic that is? I, little old me, can draw near to God’s throne without fear, without doubt, without the slightest hesitation because Christ is my Savior.

Brian led us in communion. He reminded us of the power of the cross. He reminded us that we were forgiven. Sometimes, I need reminding.

I am beyond blessed to be here in Italy. I honestly love this small city. I love my newly found brothers and sisters in Christ. I love that the Lord has brought all of us here together, if only for a small season.

It has also been stormy here. Two nights ago, the dark sky rumbled with thunder and lit up with lightning. The rain. It’s all amazing and perfectly fitting for rain boots and umbrellas. EXACTLY how I like it.

And, as for “servanthood,” I’ll be working with the children of Calvary Chapel Montebelluna in the Sunday school class! Pray for me- that these small children would teach me a little something about faith and that I would have a possible impact upon them as well.

I’m also planning a mini trip to Germany, not this weekend, but next. So, you can lift that up as well.

Well, I think that sums it up for now. I love you all a million times over and over.

By the way, keep my heart in your prayers also...just that it could be fully committed to the Lord and that I could honor Him with my life.